Monday, February 10, 2020

Microfiction: Brothers or Not?

The Worst Betrayal is a Brother's Betrayal
There once was two brothers who fought every fight together. But one day a misunderstanding that lead them to fight each other also left only one still standing.

A Brother's Devotion
Sugriva anxiously waited for any sign of his brother. But no sounds came from the cave. Was Vali dead? Could he have truly lost? Sugriva shoved that thought aside. No, there's no way he would lose. He's my big brother and I'll wait here for him until either he or the beast comes to get me. And so he waited, anxious but refusing to give up hope. Then he heard it. The was scuffling sounds from the cave. Out of the darkness approach Vali. He's alive! Of course he is, he's my brother. They greet each other, then head home.

The cave entrance (image source)

Author's Note: These two stories are both inspired by Sugriva and Vali. In the Ramayana Sugriva leaves his older brother behind in a cave. Thinking he's dead, Sugriva blocks the entrance and then takes over their kingdom as the new king. Vali was not dead however and ends up thinking he had been betrayed by his brother and exiles Sugriva.
For the 2 sentence story I wanted to focus on the boiled down event. And that is that there was a misunderstanding that ended with one brother dead. And that is the worst betrayal because neither one even tried to talk it through once the challenge was made.
The second story is a 100 word story. This one I decided to show what should have happened (in my opinion). Instead of leaving the cave and blocking it, I feel like a brother would wait even if there was a possibility of some monster coming out instead of his brother. So I wrote this one in Sugriva's POV to show his thoughts on that.

Bibliography: Ramayana, Public Domain Edition by M. Dutt, R. Dutt, Gould, Griffith, Hodgson, Mackenzie, Nivedita, Oman, Richardson, and Ryder.

3 comments:

  1. Hi Rafeh! I really enjoyed your stories! In the first stories, it was the bare bones of the story and it left me wanting more. It felt more like a summary. In the second story, I got more of what I wanted. I realized that the story was about Sugriva and Vali. I also liked that you changed the ending of the story from the original. It was sad to see the 2 brothers fight in the Ramayana when it was based on a misunderstanding. Good job!

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  2. Hi Rafeh!
    I think you wrote a great pair of short stories. They fit together really well. I like how the first one tells a short summation of the original misunderstanding, and then the following one tells your own version of the situation. I agree with you that it seems more believable that a brother would wait for his own brother no matter what he needed to face. Great job!

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  3. Hey Rafeh!
    First off I really enjoyed your stories! It was nice to get a two for one special with yours! You did a great job keeping the retelling short and sweet. by the way your ending was much nicer than the original. I love when people change the ending I like to see what everyone comes up with. The picture works perfectly and give us some great imagery while reading. Great work and can't wait to see what you write next!

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